Since Mom got sick in the fall of 2012 I have thought so much about my childhood and how Mom is such a large part of who I am. I lived with her unit l was 25 in the house on Spring St. The last few years it was just the two of us, and Emily there for a while too. We were best friends. And just like my friendships with Emily and Erin, we are so different. This made the friendship all the more interesting and valuable to me.
I can remember realizing Mom was my best friend as early on as 10 or so.
I was lucky enough to be able to attend Camp Tecumseh each summer as well as take vacations with her. Dad was working summers at the golf academy then, Lynn was grown and out of the house, Paul went with us a few times until he grew out of the 'family vacation' thing too. We always drove to somewhere on the east coast. Usually visiting historical locations (Jamestown, Williamsburg, etc), two summers we spent in Ogunquit, Maine, and one summer to Canada when I was eighteen after graduating from high school. There were also weekend trips here and there.
It was always just the two of us for two weeks. Driving, talking, and visiting some amazing places. It helped to create a love of the road trip as well as history...and of course a wonderful friendship with an amazing woman.
It was during one of these trips that I realized she was my best friend. I was around ten or so. We went to Williamsburg. We had a wonderful day and had just returned from dinner and a play. Both of us tired and ready for bed, we quickly hit the pillows turning the TV to whatever show closest to a mystery we could find. As we both laid there chatting about the day, I realized we weren't talking just as mother and daughter. We were talking as friends. I knew even then I was lucky to have this relationship with my Mother.
Being much younger than my siblings I often felt like an only child. My sister is 11 years older and my brother 8. My brother took care of me often when I was little, I looked up to him. My sister and I struggled off and on to have a traditional relationship, but managed to get along until I was well into adulthood before things crashed and burned. I spent my adolescence and teen years pretty much with just Mom and Dad. Being the youngest and the only one left in the house allowed for a different relationship with my parents than I think my siblings had. My parents were also different by this time as well. Dad and I got along just fine, but he never really knew who I was completely.
Mom was a private person and very focused. She always worked hard, and was responsible for the finances and planning. She never really let loose in her life, she played her life pretty straight. She had a goal. She put herself through school. When she married Dad and had a family she wanted a house and not to be plagued with money problems as her family was. She reached her goal. Mom did well for herself and for us. There were tough times, but no one ever went without and Mom and Dad provided a nice home for us from the start.
When I hit my early 20s I found the bar scene. And it loved me. Even though she was very straight laced and did not necessarily approve of the 'party' lifestyle, she had a very open mind when it came to my life. She knew I was responsible and could take care of myself. She actually told me she admired my ability to let go of my inhibitions and have fun. She admired my ability to own my sexuality and my openness to love. This meant so much to me. It helped me to develop a sense of confidence and pride in my way of life and not be ashamed of it. It helped to shape me into a strong woman.
I talked with Mom often about how I appreciated this acceptance from her and her fantastic sense of humor that went along with it. She knew how important it was to me that she know every part of my life. I never hid anything from her, except a little during my teenage years, but came clean soon after. When she told me she loved me and nothing I did could change that...I believed it.
I know that open mind comes from her. Because of this I have had amazing friendships and relationships over the years. I have my own flaws and can be stubborn, but inside I am completely aware of myself and this allows me to have a empathy for others.
I can say with complete certainty that I would not me who I am today if it was not for her.
Thank you, Mom.
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