It has been one week since I have gone back to work. So far, sooo good. I was completely exhausted this week. All the walking around made my belly feel strange...kind of heavy feeling. But, overall, doing good. I am eating what I want and pooping. What more can a girl ask for?
All is still well on the Mom front. We are approaching a year since Ben and I went to pick her
up to stay with us. February 8, 2013. It seems so long ago. So much has changed. At the time
I could not see the end. Everything was so overwhelming. There was finding a doctor, finding AL, deciding if AL was the right choice, dealing with her house, dealing with the day to day, and all the research I was doing-from medicare, doctors, Alz, AL, and so on. All the while wondering if I was doing the right things for Mom.
I look back and wonder how I survived those 2 months she was living here. I wonder how Ben was able to stay so calm and supportive.
I wasn't always perfect. There were a few times I lost my cool. I was scared, angry, and tired. Those 2 months were the worst for her state of mind and physically ability. She was going through so much. She was getting healthy and was exhausted and weak. But just sleeping and eating well wasn't enough, she needed to become emotionally healthy. She had a lot to deal with. Not to mention the few times she did not know who I was or where she was. Her recovery truly has been amazing.
I think back to how Ben handled it all. He was ALWAYS so positive. I mean, always. When I needed a break he would send me to our room and chat with Mom. He talked me through things, hugged me, did laundry, anything he could do to help....and always had a smile on his face. His will and attitude in times of need are truly admirable.
Ahh, I could go on and on. Bottom line is that I am grateful for how things have turned out.
I am a lucky girl.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Sunday, January 5, 2014
POOP IS LIFE
Lots to share on this post. Mostly about what's been happening with me, unfortunately.
And of course how it has affected Mom.
*Warning-Very graphic poop talk ahead*
Saturday December 14 I woke up feeling nauseous. My stomach hurt. I thought I was getting the flu that was all over school. By early afternoon I was having specific sharp pains on my right side. I didn't think much of it, I get them sometimes when I have to poop. By that evening the pain was increasing. I tried to lay down and sleep. I immediately was up and doubled over in pain. Ben took me to the ER. I got some pain meds, a CT scan and they quickly determined that it was my appendix. Fantastic. Ugh.
I met with my surgeon and scheduled the removal of the terrible thing for 8am. I was admitted and finally slept a bit. I sent Ben home after we found out what it was for sure and he was back in time to walk me to surgery.
Surgery went well. Turned out that it had ruptured. There was nothing that I could have done. Even if I had gone to ER that morning it would've been too late. I was sore and tender after surgery, but I was doing well. I pooped. Which was VITAL to my release. I was sent home on Wednesday. I did pretty well that first 24 hours.
By Friday that week I was unbelievably bloated. I looked 8 months pregnant. From my diaphragm all the way down was huge. I wasn't hungry. No pooping. No farting. Not good. I talked the doctor and since I just had surgery and could have been full of CO2 as well as getting back to normal bowel movements...he wasn't worried. During this time I had ups and downs. Some days I felt good. Ate some. Slept good. By Monday I was pretty much stuck in bed. I had thrown up once. Was in pain. Could not get comfortable. Just miserable. After throwing up 3 more times Christmas Eve, we were headed back into the ER again. Midnight on Christmas Eve. Awesome, right?
To top it all off, my back was killing me. From being slumped over and in bed for so long it hurt constantly. They hooked me up with some pain meds and for the first time in days, I felt relaxed.
After another CT scan and some blood work, they determined I had partial blockage. The plan now was to empty me and see the surgeon the next day. I was hoping for no surgery.
Remember how I said I was finally feeling relaxed? Well, the nurse then came in with the NG tube. Shit. I am still in the ER at this point and had kicked Ben out so he could get some much needed sleep. I am glad I did. What followed was not my finest moment. An NG tube goes in through your nose down to your stomach. The nurse told me to swallow as she guided it down. I did. I also puked my guts out all over her and myself. Poor girl. She was so good to me that night, too. Finally it was in. It was probably only 90 seconds of fun, but it felt like 5 mins. It was painful.
I was then admitted and in my room. It was about 2am. I got more pain meds and passed out for a few hours.
I met with the surgeon later that next evening. Not Dr. Joe from my initial surgery, but his partner Dr. Baughman (Boff-Man). He was great. He explained things really well. I was very detailed about what I felt at home and what I was now feeling. He was happy how aware I was of my body, that can really help him make decisions. He explained that everyone is different. But, that he did not want to be sitting here 5 days from now with a tube still up my nose waiting to decide on whether to cut me open or not. I agreed. I needed to get out all that was backed up in my bowels. After that we would see. The hope was that after removing all the gross stuff my bowels would relax and be able to un-kink itself.
Ben noticed that not much was coming out of my tube. I didn't seem to be filling up the container. And my abdomen was still very bloated. I wasn't sure what to expect, but he was right.
That being said, I woke up Dec 26 at 7am. I looked down and realized my tube was out. It was just sitting there on my lap. I hit the call button and said, "Um, I think my NG tube just came out."
The assistant came in and said, "Did you just say what I think you said?" I held it up. "You did. I am so sorry."
Now it is 7am. Shift change. New nurse, just meeting me and has to put in an NG Tube. She felt terrible for me. I felt terrible for her. I was just SURE I was going to puke on her. I sat straight up in my bed and crossed my legs indian style. The nurse was on my right with the tube. The assistant on my left with a cup of water with a straw. I didn't catch on right away what was happening. I told her that I was a great student, just talk to me, tell me what to do and I will. She put the tube just up my nose a tad. "Ok, Derek, get the water ready."
Derek put the straw in my mouth. "Drink, Lara, drink."
Nurse started feeding the tube down.
"Drink, Lara, keep drinking."
BOOM.
It was in. Done. 10 seconds. Pretty painless.
"Wow. You were the easiest NG tube I have ever done. You ARE a good student!"
I immediately told them that they did not do this in the ER. The water was WONDERFUL!
"WHAAAAA?! No way. I am so sorry. Looks like I need to send an email."
Not only did the water help me swallow right, but the cold water felt good.
This second tube was heaven sent. I immediately started draining. I was fillin' up that sucker ever 5-8 hours. It was wonderful. My belly was getting softer. Baughman kept checking on me. I was showing super small signs of progression, so he kept the tube in. Friday Dec 27 he decided to clamp it. The nurse felt I was still putting out a lot of lovely brown liquid, so a call went into the doc. We waited another day. I was getting close to the 5 days he said he didn't want to get to.
Saturday Dec 28 was not only my 4th day with the tube, but my 38th Birthday. I was really hoping to be able to have a feast of broth and jello. Dr. Joe stopped by and checked things out. He clamped me right away. I got my birthday wish. Yummy birthday dinner.
I kept my "meal" down. I wasn't nauseous. So far so good.
Sunday Dec 29 I FARTED. It was amazing. I was sent home Monday Dec 30.
By this time I wasn't in pain. I was still very tender. Exhausted. But, better.
I was on a low-residue diet. Which is interesting. I needed to eat the crappiest food. Processed. Easily digested food. No veggies, fruits (bananas are ok), no whole grains/nuts, no red meat, no cheese. I thought I was going to die. Actually, I didn't care. I WAS STARVING. I did not go overboard the first day. I was told to eat small amounts every few hours.
The next day I made a list after a ton of research and Ben went to the store for me. He did great.
My first REAL meal was white rice, cream of mush soup, and chicken. I chewed each bite to mush.
It was amazing. Man, it felt good to chew.
On Wednesday Dec 31 I POOPED. I couldn't believe it. I was really convinced it wasn't over and that I was going to end up in the hospital again.
Nothing for the next two days. Late Friday night I pooped again. And again this (Sunday) morning.
They aren't the greatest poops. And they kinda hurt. I can feel everything move in my intestines. It's very strange. I have been in some slight pain today, but it's as if my tender spots are extra tender.
Colon seems to be working, so I am not concerned. I see the doctor on Tuesday.
I still get tired easily. I wanted to go back to work right away. But, Ben convinced me to stay home. I agreed to 2 days. Then everyone else wanted me to take a week as well...so I added on a day. I figured I could start back with 2 days. Then have the weekend off. I think it's a good plan.
Now we are hit with Snowmageddon. I will get to save a sick day Monday due to the Snow Day.
During this entire thing I made the decision to not call Mom and tell her what was happening until after I was home. I didn't want to freak her out and cause her stress. I look back on it and realize I could have called her. She would've handled it well. I told her everything after the fact and she is happy I am doing well. We spend the day together Saturday. And I am planning on picking her up on Wednesday and hanging out before I go back to school. She is still doing very well. Nothing new to report for her. Whew.
In the last two years I seem to have had some pretty big things happen in my life. First my ruptured ovarian cyst surgery. Then Mom getting sick and all that went along with that to get her well and happy. And now my stupid appendix decided to blow up. And through all of it there was one constant that never left my side. Ben.
I am so lucky to be in love with such a wonderful man. He is an amazingly patient caregiver. I know how hard it is. He handled things so well. This last hospital stay was not pleasant. I was down in the dumps and pretty scared. Just knowing he was there made me feel better.
I am hoping for happy things in 2014. After all, we are getting mare-weeeeed in June!!!!!
I love you, Ben. Thank you.
And of course how it has affected Mom.
*Warning-Very graphic poop talk ahead*
Saturday December 14 I woke up feeling nauseous. My stomach hurt. I thought I was getting the flu that was all over school. By early afternoon I was having specific sharp pains on my right side. I didn't think much of it, I get them sometimes when I have to poop. By that evening the pain was increasing. I tried to lay down and sleep. I immediately was up and doubled over in pain. Ben took me to the ER. I got some pain meds, a CT scan and they quickly determined that it was my appendix. Fantastic. Ugh.
I met with my surgeon and scheduled the removal of the terrible thing for 8am. I was admitted and finally slept a bit. I sent Ben home after we found out what it was for sure and he was back in time to walk me to surgery.
Surgery went well. Turned out that it had ruptured. There was nothing that I could have done. Even if I had gone to ER that morning it would've been too late. I was sore and tender after surgery, but I was doing well. I pooped. Which was VITAL to my release. I was sent home on Wednesday. I did pretty well that first 24 hours.
By Friday that week I was unbelievably bloated. I looked 8 months pregnant. From my diaphragm all the way down was huge. I wasn't hungry. No pooping. No farting. Not good. I talked the doctor and since I just had surgery and could have been full of CO2 as well as getting back to normal bowel movements...he wasn't worried. During this time I had ups and downs. Some days I felt good. Ate some. Slept good. By Monday I was pretty much stuck in bed. I had thrown up once. Was in pain. Could not get comfortable. Just miserable. After throwing up 3 more times Christmas Eve, we were headed back into the ER again. Midnight on Christmas Eve. Awesome, right?
To top it all off, my back was killing me. From being slumped over and in bed for so long it hurt constantly. They hooked me up with some pain meds and for the first time in days, I felt relaxed.
After another CT scan and some blood work, they determined I had partial blockage. The plan now was to empty me and see the surgeon the next day. I was hoping for no surgery.
Remember how I said I was finally feeling relaxed? Well, the nurse then came in with the NG tube. Shit. I am still in the ER at this point and had kicked Ben out so he could get some much needed sleep. I am glad I did. What followed was not my finest moment. An NG tube goes in through your nose down to your stomach. The nurse told me to swallow as she guided it down. I did. I also puked my guts out all over her and myself. Poor girl. She was so good to me that night, too. Finally it was in. It was probably only 90 seconds of fun, but it felt like 5 mins. It was painful.
I was then admitted and in my room. It was about 2am. I got more pain meds and passed out for a few hours.
I met with the surgeon later that next evening. Not Dr. Joe from my initial surgery, but his partner Dr. Baughman (Boff-Man). He was great. He explained things really well. I was very detailed about what I felt at home and what I was now feeling. He was happy how aware I was of my body, that can really help him make decisions. He explained that everyone is different. But, that he did not want to be sitting here 5 days from now with a tube still up my nose waiting to decide on whether to cut me open or not. I agreed. I needed to get out all that was backed up in my bowels. After that we would see. The hope was that after removing all the gross stuff my bowels would relax and be able to un-kink itself.
Ben noticed that not much was coming out of my tube. I didn't seem to be filling up the container. And my abdomen was still very bloated. I wasn't sure what to expect, but he was right.
That being said, I woke up Dec 26 at 7am. I looked down and realized my tube was out. It was just sitting there on my lap. I hit the call button and said, "Um, I think my NG tube just came out."
The assistant came in and said, "Did you just say what I think you said?" I held it up. "You did. I am so sorry."
Now it is 7am. Shift change. New nurse, just meeting me and has to put in an NG Tube. She felt terrible for me. I felt terrible for her. I was just SURE I was going to puke on her. I sat straight up in my bed and crossed my legs indian style. The nurse was on my right with the tube. The assistant on my left with a cup of water with a straw. I didn't catch on right away what was happening. I told her that I was a great student, just talk to me, tell me what to do and I will. She put the tube just up my nose a tad. "Ok, Derek, get the water ready."
Derek put the straw in my mouth. "Drink, Lara, drink."
Nurse started feeding the tube down.
"Drink, Lara, keep drinking."
BOOM.
It was in. Done. 10 seconds. Pretty painless.
"Wow. You were the easiest NG tube I have ever done. You ARE a good student!"
I immediately told them that they did not do this in the ER. The water was WONDERFUL!
"WHAAAAA?! No way. I am so sorry. Looks like I need to send an email."
Not only did the water help me swallow right, but the cold water felt good.
This second tube was heaven sent. I immediately started draining. I was fillin' up that sucker ever 5-8 hours. It was wonderful. My belly was getting softer. Baughman kept checking on me. I was showing super small signs of progression, so he kept the tube in. Friday Dec 27 he decided to clamp it. The nurse felt I was still putting out a lot of lovely brown liquid, so a call went into the doc. We waited another day. I was getting close to the 5 days he said he didn't want to get to.
Saturday Dec 28 was not only my 4th day with the tube, but my 38th Birthday. I was really hoping to be able to have a feast of broth and jello. Dr. Joe stopped by and checked things out. He clamped me right away. I got my birthday wish. Yummy birthday dinner.
I kept my "meal" down. I wasn't nauseous. So far so good.
Sunday Dec 29 I FARTED. It was amazing. I was sent home Monday Dec 30.
By this time I wasn't in pain. I was still very tender. Exhausted. But, better.
I was on a low-residue diet. Which is interesting. I needed to eat the crappiest food. Processed. Easily digested food. No veggies, fruits (bananas are ok), no whole grains/nuts, no red meat, no cheese. I thought I was going to die. Actually, I didn't care. I WAS STARVING. I did not go overboard the first day. I was told to eat small amounts every few hours.
The next day I made a list after a ton of research and Ben went to the store for me. He did great.
My first REAL meal was white rice, cream of mush soup, and chicken. I chewed each bite to mush.
It was amazing. Man, it felt good to chew.
On Wednesday Dec 31 I POOPED. I couldn't believe it. I was really convinced it wasn't over and that I was going to end up in the hospital again.
Nothing for the next two days. Late Friday night I pooped again. And again this (Sunday) morning.
They aren't the greatest poops. And they kinda hurt. I can feel everything move in my intestines. It's very strange. I have been in some slight pain today, but it's as if my tender spots are extra tender.
Colon seems to be working, so I am not concerned. I see the doctor on Tuesday.
I still get tired easily. I wanted to go back to work right away. But, Ben convinced me to stay home. I agreed to 2 days. Then everyone else wanted me to take a week as well...so I added on a day. I figured I could start back with 2 days. Then have the weekend off. I think it's a good plan.
Now we are hit with Snowmageddon. I will get to save a sick day Monday due to the Snow Day.
During this entire thing I made the decision to not call Mom and tell her what was happening until after I was home. I didn't want to freak her out and cause her stress. I look back on it and realize I could have called her. She would've handled it well. I told her everything after the fact and she is happy I am doing well. We spend the day together Saturday. And I am planning on picking her up on Wednesday and hanging out before I go back to school. She is still doing very well. Nothing new to report for her. Whew.
In the last two years I seem to have had some pretty big things happen in my life. First my ruptured ovarian cyst surgery. Then Mom getting sick and all that went along with that to get her well and happy. And now my stupid appendix decided to blow up. And through all of it there was one constant that never left my side. Ben.
I am so lucky to be in love with such a wonderful man. He is an amazingly patient caregiver. I know how hard it is. He handled things so well. This last hospital stay was not pleasant. I was down in the dumps and pretty scared. Just knowing he was there made me feel better.
I am hoping for happy things in 2014. After all, we are getting mare-weeeeed in June!!!!!
I love you, Ben. Thank you.
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